A Celebration of Life
for
Derrick Runell Farmer
May 26, 1968 - February 15, 2020
Written by Peter Billingham - Funeral Celebrant & Eulogy Writer
To all our family and friends near and far, thank you for joining this online memorial for Derrick.
This online memorial will never replace the comfort and support we would have felt if Derrick's friends, colleagues, and loved ones would have come to pay their respects at his funeral. We hope that by taking the time to read these words, look at the photos, and listen to the eulogy, you can feel a part of the celebration of Derrick's life. Maybe you could even add some thoughts to send to us through the form at the end of the service.
We know that if the situation were different, many people would have dearly wanted to be in attendance to say a loving farewell to Derrick. We hope that taking part online will help in some small way as you say goodbye to Derrick, our Brother, Uncle, Colleague, but above all, a great Friend. We know that you join with us in spirit to celebrate his life. To remember the unique man Derrick Farmer was, and the heroic life he lived.
Thank you.
Best wishes
Lisa Hershman and Martey Farmer
Derrick Runell Farmer
If you would like to listen to an audio recording of the eulogy for Derrick, please click the player below.
People Are People - Depeche Mode
Opens in Spotify - Get Free Account here
“Everyone has the power for greatness, not for fame but greatness, because greatness is determined by service. ”
Simply “D” The Hero With A Big Heart
Heroes come in many shapes and sizes. Some heroes are loud and distinct, others private, quieter, not so visible. But they are still heroes. Derrick was a hero that everyone knew. Out spinning music with his trademark shades, his voice calm, with that rich velvet tone, he was simply “D” and he was perfectly ok with that. Derrick you might think, had an ordinary and unexciting life. That's one perspective, but there is another to consider - Derrick's life was heroic. Derrick was simply “D” - the hero with a big heart.
Once there was a failing insecure student at Meade High, almost ready to give up on their education. Now, that same student thrives in life. Why? Because Derrick Farmer believed in them. It was Derrick who gave them hope. A friend needed someone to sit with them and just listen. A shoulder to lean and cry on. Now, that person has found peace, support, and a way forward through the problems. Why? Because Derrick Farmer was that friend. Derrick had patience in abundance. A family facing the normal up and down challenges in life had a secure foundation no matter what storms would blow against the house. Why? Because Derrick was a consistent, trustworthy, loyal son, brother, and uncle. A hero can take many forms - Derrick was a hero with a capital D.
A gentle giant, with an immense heart, "I'm gonna stroll," he would say. Strolling through 51 almost 52 years, Derrick did it "going with the flow." Derrick was laid back and easy-going, not one to anger easily, or let the worries of life take too much of a toll on him. But don't take that to say that Derrick was not bothered, having a "couldn't care approach to life." No - not in the least! Derrick had principles. He was a man honorable and trustworthy. Believing in doing the right thing, Derrick got upset when other people didn't. He stood for justice. Derrick rallied against discrimination of any kind. He would just as soon wish his friends "Happy Passover" as much as other friends Happy Easter. At all costs, Derrick would not let hate win. Derrick was on the side of the underdog.
“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind.”
"Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind," wrote the author Henry James. Derrick understood that. That was the way he would choose to live his life. Kindness can be words we say, but it is most in what we do. Derrick's kindness was not passive but active. Derrick's generosity overflowed from the core of his soul out to his family, friends, and the community. Derrick lived a heroic life that mattered. That is why so many are sad at his passing.
It was a Sunday when Derrick Runell Farmer came into the world - born to James and Francis Farmer on May 26, 1968. Derrick was 51, passing away suddenly on February 15, 2020. There were five siblings in the family - Zeinford (Zein), James 2nd (Calvin), and Martey Derrick's brothers, and Carulus, his sister. She, too, would pass away young. Derrick's and his nephew, Avery, would build a strong connection after her death.
Derrick was born in North Carolina, but his childhood was spent growing up on Army bases in the USA and overseas. James C. Farmer served his country in the Military. To Derrick, his Dad was a hero. By all accounts, his Mom Francis a hero too, for he would often tell how she drove the family VW Station Wagon like a Porsche! His was a happy and safe childhood. Even the big glasses he wore as a child could not hide the cheeky and mischievous smile on his face. Derrick's Mom would pass away young. Facing many challenges when his father passed away as well, life had its times of struggles for Derrick. But Derrick was thankful and grateful to his parents, who taught him well and sad at the passing of them both. He missed his parents. When their birthdays came around, Derrick would always post a picture online and wish them happiness and peace.
Growing up under the watchful eye of the Military had its good and bad points. Derrick would tell how once he got pulled over by the MP (Military Police) for riding his bike over the speed limit! Martey, his brother, would tell stories of sharing a room with Derrick. Maybe not always easy or smooth, but it drew them close, closer than just siblings, Derrick and Martey were friends.
It could not have been comfortable returning to America and trying to fit into school life with new friends. Gregarious and open, Derrick soon was part of the community spending his high school years and adult life in Maryland. Derrick believed in education, both academic and learning as much as possible about what life can offer. Derrick was curious. He was a bright and intelligent man fascinated by the world around him. Derrick went to Meade High, then on to college for a while and later becoming a student aide back at Meade High.
It was rewarding career for Derrick, helping students with learning difficulties. His unique and supporting style of explaining helping them thrive in their education. In a newsletter, The Teachers Association of Anne Arundel County wrote about Derrick saying, “As a dedicated, hard-working and kind teaching assistant at Meade High School, Derrick provides profound support for students, parents and staff in his school community. Derrick always strives to convert adverse situations into positives ones and works diligently to uplift those around him.”
What a beautiful description of Derrick - he “uplifts those around him.” Someone once said, "Our chief want in life is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be." That was Derrick. That was what he did for his students. Derrick wrote on his Facebook wall one day proudly showing a message from a student. "I came out of school to this text message from the student I had that just graduated! — feeling proud!” Not everything would perhaps go the way he would have wanted with his career, but Derrick heroically persisted. Because he was doing it for the students, and that mattered more.
Jean Vanier, a leading voice on the subject of the community, said, "Many people are good at talking about what they are doing, but in fact do little. Others do a lot but don't necessarily talk about it much; they are the ones who make a community live." Derrick made the community of Anne Arundel County live with the efforts of his community work. People would say that Derrick always answered, acted, and volunteered with a "service first" spirit. Derrick never let an opportunity go to waste if he could help someone else impacting the community one person and one event at a time. The waves of that community work were noticed and rightfully rewarded.
By the State of Maryland, he received the Freedom Fund Award for outstanding service for the benefit of justice and equality in recognition of community service Anne Arundel Country Branch of the NAACP.
Derrick received a special mention in Annapolis Times for this Award.
Derrick received a Governor's Citation - in recognition of community service.
From the House of Representatives in Washington DC, Derrick received a Certificate of Special recognition from John Peter Spyros Sarbanes Member of Congress for the 3rd District of Maryland.
Derrick was awarded the Mills/King Human Relations In Education Award for outstanding contribution by the Teacher Association of Anne Arundel County.
Derrick received the Excellence In Human Relations Award also from the Teacher Association of Anne Arundel County.
The Maryland General Assembly Students Against Destructive Decisions gave a special Citation for Derrick's Leadership.
The Rotary Club of Glen Burnie awarded Derrick Community Service Volunteer of the year in 2016.
Derrick also developed a Power for Parents seminar though his affiliation with the Meade High School Alumni Association.
Photo Tribute Wall
So who was Derrick, the man?
When Derrick came through the door if it wasn't a pair of his trademark sunglasses or the unmistakeable salt and pepper beard that you noticed first - the "salt" getting more than the pepper as the years went past - then it was his smile. Smiles come in all shapes and sizes. Derrick's smile would illuminate every dark corner and brighten any gloomy soul. "If you want to be more approachable," wrote one author, "Show a gregarious smile." Derrick was never fully dressed without that trademark smile.
Once, a med student was completing a neurological exam on Derrick. He asked Derrick to smile, and he did. Then he asked him to frown. Looking bemused, "I don't know how to frown," Derrick said! Derrick suffered from poor health. It is true to say that Derrick had his fair share of challenges, disappointments, and sadness in life. But there was little that could diminish his humor or daunt his determination. One thing for sure that he didn't do was complain! On that day, he was so ill, but little could take the smile from his face.
"A generous spirit finds friends everywhere," so they say. Derrick had good friends everywhere. If you can say you have two or three good friends, you are blessed. Derrick must have been a very blessed man, because you lost count of the lifelong friends he had. Those connections meant the world to him, and so many people are missing his deep friendship in their lives. Derrick would and could talk to anyone, anywhere at any time. He might not have been able to drive, but that didn't stop him - he was always out somewhere with someone. Everyone knew Derrick! Hanging out with Derrick, soon a student or friend would be saying Hi. Derrick loved to laugh and make jokes. He enjoyed life. Funny with the witty one-liners - "You're Alive - Enjoy It," was his way.
Derrick was Mr. Cool. He could make anything he wore look sharp, the same way he could his collection of baseball caps wearing them with style. There is a picture on FaceBook of Derrick dressed in a tux and bowtie on his way out to the Military Ball - "Natty" is the best description of the many comments people posted. Ask him about it, and he would smile and say, “Yuppp!” With his silver Citizen Eco-Drive watch on his wrist, he didn't look fancy, he just looked sharp.
Derrick would post pictures of his Horoscope. Gemini's are supposed to exhibit dual personalities. In some ways, this was partly true - while Derrick had lots of friends, he kept some things private as well. Perhaps only sharing those secrets with his roommate - Tank, the dog!
Describing his brother, Martey said Derrick was the best example of humanity. If more people were like him, this world would be amazing, he said. Kevin Dunlap wrote online about Derrick, saying, "The golden rule says to treat people as you would want to be treated. That was the way Derrick lived his life." Derrick's Dad was a preacher at one time. These days must have had a significant influence on Derrick's life as he would often study the Bible and enjoyed learning about God throughout his life. Derrick treated people with politeness and kindness, not because everyone was nice, but because he was.
Hear a friend had lost a member of their family, he'd be knocking on their door, taking them food. Derrick's kindness expressing itself in generosity time and time again. When Derrick's friend Lisa moved into a new home her possessions in storage, Derrick lent her a special blanket. It was something his Mom had given him growing up, it was very special to him. When there would be a local community toy drive, even if Derrick didn't have much money, his first thought would always be to give. And when he didn't have any money, he would say a prayer and be a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen. Many would declare that's the way he's always been for as long as they've known him.
Radiating from Derrick was an inner confidence that sometimes he couldn't see in himself. Derrick made you feel that even if your world was falling apart - as long as you had him as a friend, by your side, everything would eventually be ok. Derrick didn't always see this in himself, sadly. He could see the good and bad and made no apologies for being himself. But many would always be affirming him, the real man they all knew.
"You are one of the good guys Derick."
"Everyone loves you, Derrick."
"We love you to the moon and back."
"You are plenty of inspiration for us!"
Friends are part of the glue that holds life together. Lisa Hershman and Derrick were best friends over 23 years, little could come in the way of them keeping in touch with each other - Lisa promising Derrick whenever she would get married, the "Man of Honor" would be Derrick.
Lisa said, "Derrick made me feel like it was ok to be me. Derrick would keep confidences, he was a friend to turn to no matter how life was going, good or bad, he was always willing to listen." Derrick was trustworthy and loyal.
Derrick was always up for a road trip. Cruising around the block, cruising for hours, just talking, trying out a new restaurant, or looking at Christmas lights. Other times they would head off to the mall to watch movies together. Often they would grab a bite to eat from their favorite place Gianni's pizza. They know Derrick by his first name there!
One time Lisa was ill. She had not been out of the house for days, and low on food. Derrick offered to get a list of groceries. Asking him to pick up something good - he came out with a $7 orange juice! Excited to be cooking for Derrick the first time, Lisa was trying a new recipe. It tasted awful. Not wanting to upset her, Derrick chomped on the food until he agreed a trip to Taco Bell was not a bad idea after all!
Lisa will miss so many things about her best friend, Derrick. Sharing time together, the endless conversations, but most of all, she will miss his laugh and smile.
POEM - WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
Chosen By Lisa
When tomorrow starts without me
And I’m not here to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me
I wish you wouldn’t cry
The Way you did today
While thinking of the many things
We did not get to say
I know how much you love me
As much as I love you
Each time that you think of me
I know you will miss me too
When tomorrow starts with out me
Please try to understand
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand
The angel said my place was ready
In heaven far above
And That I would have to leave behind
All those I Dearly Love
But When I walked through Heaven’s Gates
I felt so much at home
When GOD looked down and smiled at me
From his golden throne
He said This Is Eternity
And All I promised you
Today for life on earth is done
But Here it starts a new
I promise no tomorrow
For today will always last
And Since each day’s the exact same way
There is no longing for the past
So When Tomorrow starts without me
Do not think we’re apart
For every time you think of me
Remember I’m right here in your heart
Author: David M Romano
Derrick - The Man and His Music
Music was the highest passion in Derrick's life. Asking his FaceBook followers once to - "Describe me in a Gif" - the two cool cats spinning tracks as DJ's was a perfect response!
"Music to me is like breathing," said Derrick. "I don't get tired of breathing, and I don't get tired of music!"
Music and Derrick were inseparable. There is a picture of Derrick at Capital One Arena waiting for a Depeche Mode concert about to start. If there was one word you could use to describe the look on his face, it would be - contentment.
Martey tells the story when Derrick was younger, he couldn't sleep without hearing music. He's always loved music. Becoming a very accomplished DJ, Derrick set up a business and would DJ at all kinds of parties - weddings, birthdays, graduations. Even fundraisers for the local Fire Station or Marine Challenges. It was getting back to being a DJ that kept Derrick going and positive during his health challenges. Above everything else, he could not wait to back out spinning again. Music was such a special part of his life.
Derrick Farmer MegaMix
Each individual Link Opens in Spotify - Get Free Account here
Lisa has created a playlist of these songs and you can access them here.
“Live your life in such a way that you’ll be remembered for your kindness, compassion, fairness, character, benevolence, and a force for good who had much respect for life.”
Stroll On In Peace
Why do we say we want to "pay our respects" to someone who has passed away? The original meaning of that phrase is lost in time, The best guess is that "to pay one's last respects" is a phrase of describing or honoring the deceased. Perhaps Germany Kent, the journalist, puts it better this way. "Live your life in such a way that you'll be remembered for your kindness, compassion, fairness, character, benevolence, and a force for good who had much respect for life."
Derrick Farmer was a force for good in the world. In Anne Arundel County, he will never be forgotten. Derrick will be remembered as a gentle man with a heart of compassion and desire for his community. Remembering Derrick, you will recall he had time for people. Derrick had patience with those that needed it. He had a character that would not accept unfairness, injustice, or discrimination on any level. “People are people” he would play by Depeche Mode, it was the values which he lived by just as much. Mostly, Derrick will be remembered in living his life with kindness. Inspiring in those who knew him a deep belief, there is an innate goodness in the world. That each of us has the opportunity to make the world a better place one person at a time.
George R. R. Martin had something to say about heroes. "My own heroes are the dreamers, those men, and women who tried to make the world a better place than when they found it, whether in small ways or great ones. Some succeeded, some failed, most had mixed results... but it is the effort that's heroic, as I see it.” Most lives are not distinguished by great achievements. They are measured by an infinite number of small ones. Each time Derrick did a kindness for someone or brought a smile to their face, it gave meaning to life. It was a heroic act. That is why there is a vast Derrick shaped hole in your lives now he has gone. But never forgotten.
The best goodbye to Derrick is to use his own words. On a Facebook post a few years ago Derrick wrote:
To be happy you must:-
Let go of what's gone
Be grateful for what remains
Look forward to what is coming next.
Derrick, we let you go from this world to the next. You made the world a better place. You were a hero - a hero with a huge heart of love, compassion, generosity, and kindness within it.
We pray and hope all eternity, you will be surrounded by the harmony of heaven. And be reunited with those you have loved and had passed before. You were a force for good in this world - and we are sure that you will be in what is coming next for you.
Derrick, we let you go to stroll on in peace.
“Heroes didn’t leap tall buildings or stop bullets with an outstretched hand; they didn’t wear boots and capes. They bled, and they bruised, and their superpowers were as simple as listening, or loving. Heroes were ordinary people who knew that even if their own lives were impossibly knotted, they could untangle someone else’s.”
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Derrick Farmer Online Memorial Service
By Peter Billingham
Memorable Words
Please note:
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The service was written, recorded and produced by Peter Billingham at Memorable Words. The unauthorised copy and distribution of any of the copyrighted content are not allowed.
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