Behind the Capes: Are Quiet Acts What Will Define Your Life Theme As A Hero?
Would you consider the overriding theme of your life to be a hero? Why or why not?
Often, we perceive heroes as characters in grand tales or in the headlines. Have you ever thought that the hero might be the person next to you?
Or even looking back at you in the mirror?
Defining Heroism in Everyday Life
I’ve been so fortunate in my work as a eulogy speechwriter and celebrant to write about a few such heroes. Let me tell you about one.
Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, personalities and passions.
Heroes are brave, thoughtful, and always willing to help others.
Not all heroes are born from epic tales or legends. Sometimes they’re the teacher staying late to help a student. A caregiver who sacrifices personal dreams for a loved one. Or a parent provider working at a job they don’t enjoy for years, because the family needs food on the table.
Some have alter egos, others are just themselves.
Some are loud and extrovert and some are not.
Some have superpowers, and others use their human powers to the make life better for others.
Not all heroes wear red capes. (Or blue.)
Some are quiet heroes.
When was the last time you recognised such heroism in someone close to you? Or even in a stranger?
The Unsung Hero: John’s Story
We live an overriding life theme, choice by choice, decision by decision. Consciously or unconsciously, we become those choices and decisions of our days. In my many years as a celebrant and eulogy writer, I’ve met many heroes. One, I’ll call John.
There is often no rhyme or reason to what happens in life. There are things we can’t control and no matter how much we ask questions beginning with why, answers never come. The only choice we have is how we choose to respond. We have 100% choice in that matter.
Imagine life as a deck of cards. From childhood, life dealt John some challenging hands – health issues that eventually confined him to his bed. But instead of folding, John played each card with love, loyalty, and reliability, turning a seemingly losing game into a masterclass of resilience. Thoughtful and kind, constant and caring, that was John, a quiet hero many knew and loved.
The Hero’s Journey in Literature and Life
Whether it was in a film or a book, John loved a good story. He had an incredible book and film collection - George R. R. Martin, J. K. Rowling, and Ken Follett. There is a common thread running through all of those authors’ stories and it was a quest, a journey.
Some say there are only seven stories in the world. Every story is based on one of those structures. Every story we’ve heard, read, or lived can trace its roots back to these foundational narratives. One of those famous story structures is called the hero’s journey. It’s the classic tale of a quest.
It’s the search for the ring. It’s R2-D2’s message from Princess Leia, Jon Snow’s hike heading to Castle Black and the Wall. Its Roman general Maximus’s journey from slavery to freedom. The hero faces trails and adversity, the road of trials, a deeper understanding of the meaning of life, being or finding a mentor, and the return to home and safety.
George R. R. Martin had something to say about heroes.
‘My own heroes are the dreamers, those men and women who tried to make the world a better place than when they found it, whether in small ways or great ones. Some succeeded, some failed... but it is the effort that’s heroic, as I see it.’
Crafting Memorable Eulogies: The Art of Capturing Everyday Heroism
Discovering and theming a eulogy around an overriding theme makes your words memorable. An overriding life theme often serves as the title and theme for the eulogies I write. By adding an appropriate and carefully researched quote it makes the words memorable.
Printed order of service brochures are common at funerals and memorials. They often include the words, ‘A Eulogy - or A Tribute.’ I've seen how people attending funerals keep these sheets as a remembrance of the service, but more the person.
Sadly, the words quickly slip away from memory after being said on the day. Yet, if you have a title linked to the person’s personality themes and character traits, it brings those words back to mind many years later.
Among many overriding life theme titles I’ve used in eulogies , are:
You Could Never Take That Unceasing Shine Away
A Friend Who Held Life Together
Greater Than Riches
It’s What We Do That Matters
The Quiet Hero
The Heroic Choices We Make Each Day
Making small daily decisions that are heroic makes a life memorable too.
The choice to listen, rather than talk.
The willingness to give rather than take.
The joy in serving rather than demanded to be served.
It’s not the grand gestures we remember as I wrote about in the last post. But the compounding voice of a life’s decisions in the moment.
As Martin says, ‘Whether in small ways or great ones,’ it’s the choice that’s heroic. The small, seemingly inconsequential day in - day out - choices to make the world a better place. Even if we fail or even if circumstances beyond our control prevent us. It’s the effort that makes a life heroic.
If your life was being summed up in a phrase or a word, what would it be?
I suppose the question we need to ask ourselves is, what would we want it to be?
Then today, make those small decisions and choices to live it.
Crafting a eulogy is an art, an endeavour to capture the essence of a life lived and to immortalise it in words. Every life has its unique hero’s journey, filled with quiet acts of bravery, resilience, and love. If you’re looking to weave these threads into a tapestry of tribute that stands the test of time, delve deeper. Discover a guide that doesn’t just teach you to write, but to celebrate a loved one’s life itself.
Curious to explore this more?
Peter is the author of: I Want to Say a Few Words: How To Craft a Heartfelt Eulogy for a Loved One's Funeral, an Amazon best selling workbook in Kindle, PDF and Paperback formats.
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